Today is my Mom’s 73rd birthday. As you may be able to tell from the photo, my Mom has a rather large personality. Though she measures a scant (albeit feisty) 5 foot 1 3/4 inches (she insists on the 1 3/4), she has a room-filling presence, quick wit and gift for storytelling that has made her a force of mothering power. She is indispensable in some of life’s most challenging moments, but do not, under any circumstances wake her up in the middle of the night with a bad dream. She is rather less than helpful. Unless you’re bleeding out from your femoral artery, then she’s awesome.
In an effort to honor her 73 years on this planet, I’d like to share a list I compiled several years back, a testament to all of our Moms, their personalities and most memorable quotes. Enjoy…and do feel free to comment with one of your Mom’s lines. I mean, what are we saving these gems for?
If I had a quarter for every time my Mom said…
You need to put on some lipstick.
-Katherine Barry Verano
Call me back or I’ll take you out of my will.
You LIKE this.
-Mary Elizabeth Woods
Of course, your Grandfather gambled away MY college tuition.
I’ll break your legs.
-Joan Yax Lyman
I’m not going to ask you again.
-Emily Hedblom Currie
Get your hair out of your face.
-Kit O’Connell Menis
You know, you’re supposed to be the smart one!
-Vita Martino Larkin
Are you sure there’s enough room in the crotch?
Our Lord is watching you.
What about how I feel?
You should keep [insert newly-dumped boyfriend’s name here] as a friend because you never know when you’ll need help moving.
-Heather Lane Lyman