What Mom Said

Happy birthday, Mama!

Today is my Mom’s 73rd birthday. As you may be able to tell from the photo, my Mom has a rather large personality. Though she measures a scant (albeit feisty) 5 foot 1 3/4 inches (she insists on the 1 3/4), she has a room-filling presence, quick wit and gift for storytelling that has made her a force of mothering power. She is indispensable in some of life’s most challenging moments, but do not, under any circumstances wake her up in the middle of the night with a bad dream. She is rather less than helpful. Unless you’re bleeding out from your femoral artery, then she’s awesome.

In an effort to honor her 73 years on this planet, I’d like to share a list I compiled several years back, a testament to all of our Moms, their personalities and most memorable quotes. Enjoy…and do feel free to comment with one of your Mom’s lines. I mean, what are we saving these gems for?

If I had a quarter for every time my Mom said…

You need to put on some lipstick.
-Katherine Barry Verano

Call me back or I’ll take you out of my will.
-Anne Chandler

You LIKE this.
-Mary Elizabeth Woods

Of course, your Grandfather gambled away MY college tuition.
-Tasha Gandy

-Tara Laposa

I’ll break your legs.
-Joan Yax Lyman

I’m not going to ask you again.
-Emily Hedblom Currie

Get your hair out of your face.
-Kit O’Connell Menis

You know, you’re supposed to be the smart one!
-Vita Martino Larkin

Are you sure there’s enough room in the crotch?
-Jenny Badman

Our Lord is watching you.
-Patti Spaniak

What about how I feel?
-Amy Stemmler

You should keep [insert newly-dumped boyfriend’s name here] as a friend because you never know when you’ll need help moving.
-Heather Lane Lyman

8 responses to “What Mom Said”

  1. Courtney Loadholt Avatar
    Courtney Loadholt

    You’ll miss me when I’m gone.

  2. Heather Friedrichs Lyman Avatar
    Heather Friedrichs Lyman

    Joan’s mom’s newest zinger, implying that Joan had terrible circles under her eyes: “Heya, you keep your eyes in those bags?”

  3. Quit your crying or I’ll give you something to cry about!

  4. Me: That’s not Fair !!!!!
    Mom: Fair is where pigs get blue ribbons.

    1. Moms can be equal parts sweet and guilt, no?

  5. MaryBeth Soltis Avatar
    MaryBeth Soltis

    You should really start dressing your age. A. Lowe

  6. She died when I was 12 after a three-year bout with cancer, so I don’t remember much. But I do remember one day when I played my guitar and sang at the local folk fest. She sat in her wheelchair, had tears in her eyes and she said, “I’m so proud of you!”
    Those words, and her tear-filled eyes, stayed with me all those years.

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